I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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