FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
