Can Purell be used as lube?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
