I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
