I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
