the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
