My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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