I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
