That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
