But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
