i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
