i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
where are you?
Hypothermia
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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