Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
