Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He did a backflip because drugs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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