yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
