He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Drunk is not a location!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
