I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
false alarm, still single
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
