I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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