You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
