Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
