I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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