Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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