Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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