Apparently you make a good broom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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