he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
