belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
