It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So much rum. So many feels.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
