she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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