i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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