i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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