Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
