Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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