I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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