420 ftw
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
