i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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