Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
