is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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