The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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