I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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