Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize