Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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