a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I party with great urgency now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
