Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
