I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
