i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
