ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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