What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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