College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
