Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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