can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
